Wind in the Willows and Everywhere Else
by Karen Williams - Oviedo Voice - Sept. 23, 2004
It would seem from all indications, including the debris in my yard and the mold in my bathroom, that Florida has been weather-challenged lately. First Charley, then Frances, now Ivan—at this rate, they’ll have to add letters to the alphabet to accommodate all the names of this year’s snarling storms.
But we Floridians, being of hearty immigrant stock (mainly New York and New Jersey), will not be daunted when Mother Nature has PMS week after week after week. We will continue to calmly do what needs to be done—stock up on bottled water, batteries, SpaghettiOs, tarps, mud boots, and life preservers. We’ll help our neighbors, and we’ll fight, with every ounce of our being, the impulse to punch anyone who cuts ahead of us at Home Depot or Lowe’s.
Problems, even those that involve our losing the God-given ability to surf the Internet or watch “Survivor,” CAN render us stronger, more resilient people. We’ve endured other disruptions of mind-boggling proportions (the widening of Alafaya Trail comes to mind), and we’ll keep a stiff upper lip through Hurricane Season 2004.
Let’s pause for a moment to consider some positive aspects of even a Category Very-High storm bearing down on us.
--It makes us thankful we don’t live in a yet crueler environment such as the Arctic, Antarctic, or the Moon.
--It reduces crowding, as northern transplants decide that snow, ice, and the mob aren’t so bad after all.
--We get to experience the kind of family bonding that only occurs while hunkered down together in a walk-in closet as things outside go bump/crash in the night and someone inadvertently sits on a wire coat hanger.
--We gain new respect for long-gone forebears who had to read TV Guide and The Voice by candlelight.
--We gain new awe for the forces of nature that can peel back a roof like a sardine lid, turn a home into a wading pool, drive a McDonald’s straw into a tree trunk, and make the FEMA hotline more popular than a “love-connection” number.
--We’ll never again let a power company, cable, or phone repair vehicle pass by without saluting or blowing kisses. And the debris pick-up workers will be written into our wills.
--People all over the country will stop hating us because we live in paradise and start pitying us because we live in Flori-DUH. And they’ll stop visiting us for weeks at a time and clogging our toilets and messing with our video games.
--We can enjoy the poignant and humorous sights that pop up everywhere, such as plywood on windows where someone has spray-painted, “Go away, Francis! Puh-leeze!” As if hurricanes could read…and as if they’d obey such instructions even if they COULD read, especially when the spelling is bad.
Yes, there are benefits galore in even the most trying circumstances if only we choose to focus on the positive.
Now, let’s get the heck out of Dodge. Bismarck, South Dakota is looking better by the minute.
Copyright 2004, Karen Williams
