Eureka! There's Gold in Them-Thar E-mails!
by Karen Williams | October 14, 2005 - Seminole Chronicle
My ship finally came in. And for once, duh, I wasn't waiting at the airport. I was in the exact right place at the exact right time. At long last, the heavens smiled down upon me and the fickle finger of fate gave me a thumbs-up - or something like that.
And now I'm so glad I've always tried to be a good person, even when it seemed unrewarding, even stupid. I'm thankful I've always been compulsively honest with my Uncle Sam, probably being the only person in history to dutifully report cash birthday gifts as income, as required by the IRS.
I'm so glad I've confined my lies to teensy-tiny white ones simply designed to spare someone's feelings.
"Oh, Erma, the avocado casserole is scrumptious, but it's so filling that I can't eat another bite!"
I'm so glad I've rarely, if ever, gossiped, except as pertains to that no-good Josie Higgins from my hometown. (Tell you about her sometime later.)
I'm so glad I didn't tattle on Benny Fitzsimmons when he came up behind me, grabbed my arms and, laughing gleefully, repeatedly hit my rump with his knee as we walked home from school in first grade. I'm glad I didn't get him in trouble because (a) revenge isn't nice and (b) years later in high school, he became my boyfriend and my volatile moods possibly evened the score.
I'm so glad I never stuck gum under a table or accidentally tucked a hotel towel in my suitcase, for now it's all paying off big time.
I can't share the details, but I have been contacted via computer e-mail by the personal attorney of an oil company official in Nigeria.
It seems that this official - we'll call him Mr. Richman - lost his life in a plane crash several years ago. Since that time, his attorney has tried diligently to reach Mr. Richman's next-of-kin in the United States, all to no avail. So he contacted me, a person of seemingly renowned integrity, to receive Mr. Richman's unclaimed fortune of $21 million in order to avoid its confiscation by the government. After I send him all relevant information about my personal bank account, he will make the deposit and we will divide the money 40/40, with 20 percent going to a charity upon which we agree.
In these days of greed and narrow self-interest, it's delightful to encounter an attorney who is not one of the 95 percent who give the other 5 percent a bad name (with all due respect to my son Joel in law school.)
In these times of scams and shams, it's heartening to be part of a legitimate partnership that extends beyond national borders.
In these days when I often search under the sofa cushions for Big Mac money, it's nice to know I'll soon be able to pay off my credit card bills and have cash left over for a tank or two of gas.
And through the same miraculous Internet that put me in contact with this benevolent attorney, I've been able to locate Benny Fitzsimmons. If there was any doubt in Benny's mind, I'm proving to him I'm a person who forgives and forgets by including him in this bonanza. In fact, we'll even use his bank account for the transaction.
Some things are simply meant to be shared.
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Copyright 2005, Karen Williams
