The Toilet Tank: It's Not Just for Kleenex
by Karen Williams | January 04, 2007 - Seminole Chronicle
One of the best New Year's resolutions we can make is to think positive.
Studies show that optimistic people are healthier, better adjusted, and more productive. They also get more bugs in their teeth when they ride a bicycle (while grinning), but that's a small price to pay.
I've tried to inculcate a glass-is-half-full mentality in my sons and stepsons, and even though they're grown, they still groan about my tactics. But I shrug it off, for it takes the focus off all my real parental mess-ups, such as when I forgot to pick the kids up after school and disgruntled janitors had to bring them home.
Raising four boys was fairly easy, for there was no moodiness, pouting, or crying jags, other than when I would break a fingernail or miss a sale at Sears.
Our biggest challenge was the fighting that could erupt if, for instance, one brother caught another brother filching the first one's milk. (We bought a gallon of milk each week for each boy, and I labeled them accordingly, but that didn't prevent pilfering.)
We had a "no violence" policy in the household, so when conflict surfaced, I'd hop on a kitchen chair and demand that the boys join me in the "Happy Brother Theme Song."
It was a ditty I'd composed, spur of the moment, when one boy was about to pulverize another over a video game.
The lyrics went, "We are happy brothers, happy as can be. We are happy brothers, so sing along with me. We are happy brothers, happy all day long. We are happy brothers, and so we sing this song." The song then reached a crescendo, repeating "Happy brothers" in an athletic cheer of sorts that shook the apartment..
This procedure immediately diffused tension between the boys while causing all four of them to stare daggers at me, and I actually never used this parenting process when my husband wasn't home to watch my back.
At other times of discord, I'd run to the neighbors', cover my ears, and feel thankful we'd bought our furniture at the Salvation Army.
I tried to exemplify cheerfulness, no matter how gloomy the atmosphere in our home. (My husband wouldn't allow the boys to watch "The Simpsons," which evoked widespread grumbling.)
I'd wake the boys for school with an "Up-and-at-'em" tune. I'd alert them to shower time with a "shower power" chant. And I'd go on "posture patrol" to remind them not to slump. We were a blended family with a few "issues," but I tried to put the "fun" back in dys-fun-ctional.
To further uplift and inspire, I devised Toilet Tank Wisdom. Using 3x5 cards that were spirally bound together, I created a flip chart of wise sayings. Each day would bring a fresh new insight for the brothers to ponder when interacting with the bathroom.
Now ages 26, 29, 31 and 33, the fellows grudgingly admit that Toilet Tank Wisdom is imbedded in their brains. At a moment's notice, they can quote: "When you throw mud at someone, you are the one who loses ground" or "As you travel through life, whatever your goal, keep your eye on the doughnut and not on the hole."
But do they actually apply these sayings to everyday experience?
I don't know for sure, but if so, "I'm a happy mother, happy as can be. I'm a happy mother, so sing along with me..."
Copyright 2006, Karen Williams
